


A Lunch Date...with a Side of Embarrassment

by BabyGenius



Series: A Bat in A White Collar [6]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, White Collar
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Diana and Barbara will rule the world, Dick Grayson is Neal Caffrey, Gen, Hacking, It’s Babs’ turn!, Neal Caffrey is Dick Grayson, Sibling no longer looks like a word, Sibling-Like Interaction, Sushi, embarrassing videos, just of falling down stairs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:15:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25650466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabyGenius/pseuds/BabyGenius
Summary: A woman came wheeling into the office, which, in itself, wasn’t very odd, but she stopped at Neal’s desk, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “Hey, stupid, what’s up.”Peter’s eyebrows furrowed at the insult. Was this the friend?Neal looked up, a grin lighting his face. “Hey, dweeb. How was the trip over?”Peter walked up, causing them both to look up. He gave a greeting nod to the woman and looked between her and Neal. “You’re the friend, I presume?”——Barbara decided that if the boys got to pester Dick where he works, so does she. It’s only fair, after all. Besides, embarrassing him in front of his coworkers is a lot of fun.
Relationships: Barbara Gordon & Dick Grayson, Peter Burke & Neal Caffrey
Series: A Bat in A White Collar [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790395
Comments: 47
Kudos: 339





	A Lunch Date...with a Side of Embarrassment

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! I’m sorry this took so long, but I didn’t quite have it done yesterday. If y’all follow me on tumblr then you already knew this because I made a post on it. For those that are curious, here’s my account: https://blerghfish.tumblr.com/  
> Anyway, I didn’t quite know where I was going with this one, so I’m really sorry if it’s not as good as the others, but I tried my best and that’s all I can do. Also, there’s a scene with them in the sushi restaurant so I think I got the sushi types right, but if I didn’t then I’m sorry coz I did do research on them and stuff, so let me know if I messed it up please?  
> Also, I’m going to be leaving for a different state in a few days, and the house I’ll be staying at does not have wifi. I’ll be there for a couple weeks (until the 17th or 18th, I believe), so I’ll try to update as normal using my hotspot, but if it doesn’t work then don’t worry! I’m not abandoning this or anything, I just won’t be around internet. If I can’t update when I’m there then I’ll have two updates for you when you get back.  
> Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> EDIT: I gave the wrong link for my tumblr, so it’s been fixed now.  
> EDIT NUMBER 2: I opened a jewelry shop! It’s primarily over Insta because that’s the only platform I can get to work right now, but the account is @fairyqueendezigns, so go check it out!

Babs had been hacking his computer all week for the express purpose of talking with him. Which was kind of weird because he _did_ have a phone, y’know. Texting was a thing. The first time it had happened, she had chosen to get Dick’s attention by having the computer screen flash once—very brightly.

He may or may not have almost jumped out of his chair, drawing the concerned glances of the agents around him.

But that was neither here nor there.

The situation with the rogue League of Shadows members had been resolved only a week ago, and Peter was still suspicious of Dick—Neal—and how he’d managed to take out twenty four highly trained assassins in under fifteen minutes. Dick had resigned himself to the fact that his cover was going to be blown within the next month or two, and there wasn’t much he could do. He found that he was not as upset about that fact as he may have been in the past. After all, sure, maybe Peter would be upset that he had been lying to him about practically everything, but the fact that most, if not all, of the crimes he was suspected for had been done fore legitimate reasons (a brief partnership with the CIA and NSA), then he would no longer have to wear the stupid anklet.

He was all for men being allowed to wear jewelry and such, but this piece clashed with his clothing choices and was just a bit too clunky for his tastes.

Of course, he also wasn’t a huge fan of wearing suits _all the time_. Don’t get him wrong, he loves them, and Byron’s were of a special make (knife-proof and semi-bullet proof, tailored with deep pockets and many hidden ones as well), but wearing them all the time was sometimes frustrating for when he wanted to do certain things. They had, in fact, been made with more give for flexible gymnastic feats than the typical suit, but were still somewhat stiff.

He missed his cargo pants. The ones he wore with his Robin uniform (after moving on from that very, _very_ , brief stint in those dreaded scaly underwear—those weren’t spoken about—for good reason).

But he should probably get to the point.

Peter, and most likely Hughes, Diana, and Jones, too, would soon find out exactly where he came from. The reason for his arrest and subsequent jail time (not that he was actually there half the time) would no longer be viable, and they would be forced to let him off his leash.

On one hand, this thought made him very happy because he missed his team, his aunts and uncles (the JL), and Gotham (he must be crazy, he knew), but, on the other, he would miss doing good with Peter. He enjoyed helping people, and he didn’t think he wanted to join another police force, however much that had been fun while it lasted.

Now, to the actual point. Barbara had informed him that she would be coming up to New York to visit within the next few days. She would pick him up at the office when his lunch break started. He had tried to convince her to just wait outside, he really had, but she had said that since his brothers got to invade his work place, so did she.

She had a point, but also not really.

He was dreading the confrontation, because he just knew there was going to be one (she wanted to meet the team that was supposed to keep him safe—he could keep himself safe, thank you very much).

Peter knew something was a little funky that day, and when he had asked, Neal’s response of “A friend is coming to visit,” did not inspire confidence. Not one bit.

Fortunately, he didn’t need to wait very long. A woman came wheeling into the office, which, in itself, wasn’t very odd, but she stopped at Neal’s desk, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “Hey, stupid, what’s up.”

Peter’s eyebrows furrowed at the insult. Was this the friend?

Neal looked up, a grin lighting his face. “Hey, dweeb. How was the trip over?”

The woman shrugged. “Not bad. Bit of turbulence, and Clark stopped by to say hello, but otherwise uneventful.”

Neal nodded. “I get off for lunch in a few minutes, and I got us reservations at that sushi place you like.”

Her face lit up. “That’s great. I’ll just wait here, then, you finish up.” She wheeled over to the side of the desk so her wheelchair wouldn’t be in the way of anyone else entering, and settled back, turning on a laptop she pulled out of her bag.

Peter walked up, causing them both to look up. He gave a greeting nod to the woman and looked between her and Neal. “You’re the friend, I presume?”

She nodded, proffering a hand. “Barbara.”

“Peter Burke.”

Barbara nodded. “It’s nice to meet the person who keeps this one out of trouble.”

Neal sputtered. “I resemble that remark!”

She nodded. “Yes, you do. Don’t deny it. There’s still a no swinging on the chandelier rule at the manor, and we both know that wouldn’t have had to be made if you hadn’t fallen off of so many.”

Neal scowled. “Rude. I only fell off of them three times. And the chandelier was fine!”

“That Ming Vase wasn’t.”

Diana had made her way over. She shared a handshake with Barbara. “Diana Berrigan. Mind telling us more about Neal’s childhood escapades?” She had a mischievous glint in her eyes, a smirk tilting her lips. Babs returned it. Neal groaned and put his head in his hands.

“Please, Babs, if you ever loved me, don’t.”

Babs shot him a winning smile. “Oh, but it’s because I love you so much that I’m able to do this.”

“I’ll tell them about that time with the judo flip,” Neal warned.

Babs narrowed her eyes before harrumphing, “Even if you did, that was equally embarrassing for you, so I don’t care.”

“I landed on my feet like I always do!” Neal protested.

Barbara smiled at him before grinning at Diana. “He likes to say that he does, but I have video evidence of him falling on his face.”

Peter smirked. “You’ve got to show that to us.”

“Peter!”

“It’s payback for the moustache picture.”

Barbara smiled before typing a few things on her laptop, pulling up the beginning of a high-resolution video labeled “The Less Gracious Moments of a Flying Grayson”. Peter was slightly confused at the title, but left it alone. She pressed play, showing a video of a child standing on top of the bannister to a grand staircases. He must have been in his early teens.

Diana laughed. “Oh my god, is that you? You’re so short!”

Neal pouted. “I was a late bloomer.”

_Video Neal spread his arms out dramatically. “For my next trick, I’m going to do a handstand and walk down the stairs!”_

Jones, who had walked up behind them, gaped. “What the hell. How on earth would you do that?”

“By doing a handstand? And walking down the stairs?” Neal shrugged as if it were no big deal.

 _Dick (Neal) leaned forward and fell into a handstand at the top of the stairs. He slowly began walking down them, one hand after the other. However, when he was about three quarters of the way down, a giant crash sounded from below, causing Dick to startle just as he was about to go down another step. This put him off balance with a tiny wobble, causing his legs to fall forward in an impressive_ _backbend as he continued his forward momentum, trying to right himself with various gymnastic moments. The camera was shaking as the muffled snickers of the filmer upset its stability, and Dick eventually wound up rolling to a stop on the floor and spreading out on his stomach, a petulant expression on his face. “Delete that!”_

_“No way.”_

Peter gaped at the gymnastic capabilities that had just been shown, even if he did fall down the stairs. “How are you not broken?”

Neal grinned, “I did a lot of gymnastics and acrobatics as a kid.”

“But you probably can’t do half of these things anymore,” Jones pointed out, his mind still reeling from that painful-looking backbend.

Neal shook his head. “Nope, I can still do everything you just saw. Though I’m a lot better at going down stairs and I don’t get startled easily anymore.”

Peter shook his head in bafflement. Barbara smirked, one more video playing on her laptop. This one showed a slightly older Dick come sliding down the hallway and then quickly out of view before you heard a loud crash! and a muffled groan. The boy walked slowly into view, rubbing a quickly bruising spot on his forehead.

Diana cackled. “That was beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Caffrey make a fumble like that.”

Neal glowered, leaning over and snapping the laptop closed. He looked at his bare wrist (his watch was on his other arm). “Alright, time for lunch. Say goodbye Babs.”

Barbara socked him on the shoulder, causing him to wince and rub the area. She smirked before meeting the eyes of the agents. “It was lovely meeting you.”

Jones laughed, his face crinkling and his eyes on Caffrey. “No, I think the pleasure was definitely ours.”

Neal scowled before dragging Barbara out the door, much to the amusements of the agents that had been eavesdropping (they’re agents, it’s what they do). Peter snorted before going back up to his office to get his lunch, and the rest of the agents went back to whatever it was they had been doing.

——

“Did you really have to show that video?” Dick scowled at her over his bowl of chirashizushi.

Barbara smiled back innocently. “Just helping them get to know you, Dick.” She stuffed a piece of sea urchin gunkan maki in her mouth with her chopsticks.

“Mhmm. I thought Bruce wanted me to _keep_ my cover; none of anybody’s visits are helping me with that,” Dick pointed out.

Babs shrugged, making a dismissive wave of the hands. “I think he’s just resigned himself to this happening eventually. He’s probably realized it would be beneficial to have an official JL liaison in the FBI. Also, if they pull up your history from BPD they’d be able to hire you anyway. Besides, then you’d be able to get rid of that tacky piece of jewelry.”

Dick shrugged. “I’ve resigned myself to my cover being blown, but I’m not going to be the cause of it.”

Babs raised an eyebrow, stabbing her chopsticks at his bowl in an attempt to steal some of his food. “Why not? You’d be able to visit sooner.”

Dick engaged in a quick fight with the chopsticks before successfully fending her off and pinning her with a stare. “We both know I could visit whenever I wanted to.”

“Well yeah, but this way there wouldn’t be as much sneaking.”

Dick snorted. “Mhmm,” He paused. “I think I’m just going to wait until the cat is released from the bag without my help.”

Barbara shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

Soon enough they had finished their meals, and with a quick check of his watch, Dick realized he would have plenty of time to walk Babs to her hotel room, so that’s what he did. The walk passed in companionable silence. Eventually they arrived in front of the doors to one of the higher-end hotels in the city.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay with me and June?” Dick asked.

Barbara smiled but shook her head. “I’ll come over for dinner, but I’m leaving tomorrow morning, so there isn’t much point in changing my sleeping conditions when I’ll be out of them soon anyway.”

Dick heaved a sigh. “Fine. You could’ve just told me you don’t want to spend time with me.”

Barbara fixed him with a playful glare. “We both know you’re just being a drama queen. I’ll see you at five o’clock, and I expect you to have chosen a good movie to eat dinner with.”

He gave a sweeping bow of mocking. “As you wish.” He straightened up with a playful glint in his eyes. “I’ll see you then.”

Babs smiled at him before rolling in through the door being held open for her by the doorman. Dick watched her go, the remains of a smile on his face before turning around to return to work after picking up some coffee.

But only for himself.

People who laughed at him didn’t get coffee.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo? Feedback keeps me going, my dudes, I swear. Even if it’s a single word I still appreciate it more than you could know. There’s nothing better as a creator than being told that you did a good job.  
> Also, you might want to read the author’s note at the beginning, because it has some info that’s just a little bit important :D  
> Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this, and all the kudos and comments are amazing, and to new readers, welcome! I hope you’re having as much fun as I am.


End file.
